Is she faking it?
It’s no surprise that a positive attitude can lead to positive feelings. For most of us Jewish singles, we know that being positive can lead to great results. However, recent research takes this a bit further.
The research, led by British (and Jewish) Professor Richard Wiseman suggests that if we behave as if we find someone attractive, there is a greater likelihood that we’ll be into them. In the world of psychology, there is a new line of thinking that suggests behaviour can lead to emotions, which has been coined the “positive action” technique. Traditionally, most psychologists believed that our emotions drove our behaviour.
To relate this to our Jewish dating lives, it’s important to understand what Wiseman did in his study. Wiseman tested the technique at a speed dating event where a sample of partners purposely role played that they were already in love with each other during their short dates. Wiseman set up the scene to make the couples gaze into one another’s eyes, touch hands and whisper sweet nothings in the other’s ear.
The result? After being interviewed at the end of the event on who felt closer to whom, 45% of those that were matched with “positive action” dates felt closeness with their dates while only 20% indicated the same with the normal daters. Yes, double the success!
So, how does this research help us JDaters in dating, love and relationships? Well, it definitely can give us some food for thought when we meet up with one of the Jewish singles we’ve connected with online.
Based on what we’ve learned from this research, here are JDate’s tips to enhance love –
Laugh out loud – to break the ice, take the time to think of a joke to tell one another. It doesn’t have to be clever but at least you’ll get to see one of the most important features of your Jewish date – their smile – and you’ll get to learn about their sense of humour.
Look them in the eye – there is nothing more powerful than gazing into one another’s eyes. If you’re meeting your match for the first time, make a point of agreeing to stare into each other’s eyes for a minute. This way it takes the pressure off but you can get to see inside your Jewish man or woman’s soul.
Hand to hand – get your first touch out of the way by suggesting that you place the palms of your hands together. You can learn a lot about someone from their hands – what they do for a living, if they are gentle or a bit rugged. Best of all, you’ll get to see how it feels to hold the other’s hand once you’re ready.
Daydream together – loving couples talk about their hopes and dreams together. Ask your Jewish date what they would do if they won the lottery or where they want to be in 10 years from now. This way you can start to build your first set of dreams together as a couple.
Wiseman’s research shows that there could be a lot to gain from tricking the mind sometimes. By allowing yourself to act in love before you are truly in love with that special someone could help you put your positive foot forward and make all the difference to your Jewish dating success.
What do you think? Would you fake your feelings to enhance love?